Date: Thursday, September 17, 2009

no, it's not okay for me to be honest and true with you when you're willing to be deceptive and false with me. i feel aversion when people aren't being real with me, especially when the whole time, i've been real to them. it takes no damn sherlock to realize that the world is one crazy bitch. everybody always agonizing over the judgment they receive from other people, whether good or bad. it's really sad the way people treat others, but it's reality. everybody needs friends. some people are so desperate for them, they come to think it's okay if they're true or not, as long as they're acquainted. when people do things, sometimes they can't see the hurt they've left behind for someone else to deal with, but life isn't fair and i think everybody already knows that. for me, the worst and best part of life are during your teenage years. that's when you seek new friendship & experience new things, good and bad. people can take one look at you and misjudge you. why are people like that? they can not like the way you dress and go on forever talking their smack and criticizing you, but really, i would know from experience, anyone who talks smack is only anyone who's jealous. and everyone talks smack. it's so easy for girls to become a bitch while it's not so easy for other girls to handle the bs that those bitches give them. the girl world is just not the drama-free world. we talk all the shit we have to. if nobody really feels the need to be fake when they can be truthful, then why are they still the backstabbing whores? you can't say something you don't mean, but obviously, that's not a law you have to live by. i know that our past makes us who we are now, but i think everyone has regrets as well as me. why did i care so much about what people thought of me? because i was looking to be accepted with everyone else, and if i wasn't what they wanted, they wouldn't accept me. but now i know that we're not bad, we're just people. GOD didn't make us flawless. and at an age so young, and still more drama and problems to pursue in college, i know now that any person who can't accept me for me, is any person i shouldn't waste my time on. i'm a lucky person to know that i have good friends by my side standing their with me through every problem that occurs, but to not know who i can count on through anything, is okay too because i know i can't always rely on somebody to help me, i have to help myself first. negative things only rely on your self-esteem and depends on how confident you are. someone makes fun of me or puts me down, it's hard for me to put up with that cause' im a sensitive person, but as long as i know what they say isn't true, they can kiss my ass because look at how they talk. they probably have problems all bottled up inside of them, they can only say bad things about people to relieve them. i'm glad that i think more mature and wise about some situations. i'd rather keep my mouth shut and not say anything about a person i dislike than open my mouth and hurt that other person, because i know how it feels like. even though i can be a selfish person, i'm willing to share. you have to love yourself before anything else, and so after doing the things i've done and experiencing the things i've experienced, i've grown to love myself very much. 0 leave some love ♥